Margaret Sugar's Site

Margie's obituary (written by Peter, but since fiddled around with by a handful of other family members) has been sent to Boulder's Daily Camera newspaper to be run this Sunday. It also has been picked up in the November Clear Light Messenger, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder's newsletter. Both obituaries can be viewed or downloaded from the Recollections page.

Here is a tad of travel guidance:

1. As you land in Denver, appreciate the pair of guardian gargoyle's, in Terry Allen's Notre Denver sculpture. They will ensure your luggage arrives safe and sound.

2. Google lists many private shuttles to Boulder, but I generally just take the Regional Transportation District (RTD) express coach bus service, route AB, as it is convenient, fast, and inexpensive.

3. Several of Margie's friends have offered their guest rooms for out-of-town guests. If you would like to take advantage of these kind offers, please contact Anne or John and we'll get you set up!

4. We've not used any of Boulder's many hotels, so can't recommend any in particular. Please feel free to post a comment below with what you've found - to help others zero in on likely candidates.

You might check out these though:

• Boulderado: www.boulderado.com - downtown, on the busy pedestrian mall, classy old hotel filled with antiques. If you are a light sleeper, ask if the new wing is quieter than the old rooms above the bar
• St Julien Boulder's Hotel and Spa: www.stjulien.com - new, swank and probably $$$, close to downtown and the Boulder Creek park
• Millennium Harvest House: www.millenniumhotels.com - standard big hotel, a couple miles east of town. Not so convenient if you are without a car
• Boulder Outlook: www.boulderoutlook.com - new hotel

The Boulder Visitor's Bureau is at: www.bouldercoloradousa.com in case that is of any help.

5. Please contact Anne or John if you are coming from out-of-town (tell us of others coming too!), so we have a list in case there are any updates or additional gatherings.

Margie periodically enjoyed doing some painting and a bit of other art, especially in the 1980's and 1990's while on vacation. While she primarily did watercolors, she may have done some other forms of art on occasion. She took some classes too. She gave her watercolor mats to Anne to be reused, as the mats can be fairly pricey. Otherwise she was going to toss them out, not thinking them worth saving. Fortunately Anne saved the art! The kids all had a chance to get a few of mom's art, and today, we finally got pictures of them up on the site, in the "Watercolors" Gallery on this web site's photos page, for everyone's enjoyment.

The church was unavailable Saturday, so we've switched to Sunday, November 2nd, 3 PM and confirmed this as the time & date for Margie's memorial service.

The Memorial Service will be held Sunday, November 2nd, 3 PM at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder:

For an online map, go to: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=5001+Pennsylvania+Ave.,+Boulder,+CO+80303&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF-8&ll=40.006974,-105.245419&spn=0.028664,0.041542&z=15&iwloc=addr

Note that this is the day we get off Daylight Savings Time, so do not show up an hour early!

Please contact Anne or John if you are coming from out-of-town (tell us of others coming too!), so we have a list in case there are any updates or additional gatherings.

UPDATE: the service will be held Sunday, November 2nd at 3 PM, NOT Saturday as we had tentatively thought.

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and notes. Margie's death has left a huge hole for the family and is only slightly soothed by knowing mom is freed from her pains and lived her life fully. As we've sometimes joked, Margie would often get impatient to complete her projects and (given the cancer's inevitable outcome) she was even impatient to die. It still came too soon for the rest of us and every day we think of things we would like to share with her - but now can't. The pain of her absence reflects the worth of her presence.

Please know that it may change, but for those needing to schedule travel arrangements, it looks like we're settling in on Saturday, November 1st at 1 PM to hold the Memorial Service in Boulder. If this creates a problem, please let one of us kids know this weekend. We'll post updated info here once this gets firmed up, in the next day or two.

The Memorial Service has been confirmed and will be held Sunday, November 2nd, 3 PM at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Boulder:

5001 Pennsylvania Ave.
Boulder, CO 80303
(303) 494-0195
www.uucboulder.org

For an online map, go to: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=5001+Pennsylvania+Ave.,+Boulder,+CO+80303&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF-8&ll=40.006974,-105.245419&spn=0.028664,0.041542&z=15&iwloc=addr

Note that this is the day we get off Daylight Savings Time, so do not show up an hour early!

Please contact Anne or John if you are coming from out-of-town (tell us of others coming too!), so we have a list in case there are any updates or additional gatherings.

I just received word from Anne that Margie passed away at 3:01 PM MST today, with Anne, Arvadus and Tait at her bedside. She had not woken from her sleep last night and died peacefully, in minimal pain and without imposing upon others. Mom died as she had always desired: without a fuss and in a dignified, straightforward way... Cherish your time with her as she did hers with each of you.

This Saturday Mom went out to Breadworks with Mack to socialize with one of their groups of friends, then attended the NY Met's HD's production of Richard Strauss' Salome Opera, and that evening attended the Kavafian Schub Shifrin Trio playing Mozart, Stravinsky, Bruch & Bartok at Macky Auditorium -- a very busy day!

Sunday though she was out of sorts and needed some comforting and reassurance from Anne. Anne reports Margie has been more vulnerable these past few weeks and how tender that has been. She did vote - which had been one of her key objectives before dying!

Yesterday, Peter and Jill talked to her early on, as Jill notes in her comments. Mom indicated she wasn't long for the world. Anne stopped by in the morning and then again after work. Margie was having trouble breathing and so Anne made her comfortable and spent the night with her.

Today, Margie has not awoken, and her breaths are shallow. While she may recover, she may not. Those close to her know that faced with an incurable cancer, mom has made her peace with friends, family and self and would truly relish a quick end to things as her tumors are growing and making her uncomfortable.

We'll keep you posted here, but have Margie in your thoughts and prayers these next days.

Once again, Peter and I are getting ready to head back to Oregon. It was easier leaving last month because we knew we were coming back to see Margie again within 3 weeks. But this time we are not sure when we will be back and what the circumstances will be. We enjoyed a lovely yummy breakfast this morning at Anne and Arv's with Margie and Mack, Ellen and Jerry, and sisters Abby and Grace. I love these times of gathering and feasting and sharing! Our moments together are as sweet as all these lovely brilliant fall colors, the golds of the trembling aspens resplendent in the mountains and fall air. Margie is still very much 'in charge' these days, and expresses curiousity at this adventure of her dying. There are no road maps for any of us on this journey, it seems. So much 'letting go' to 'do', and on so many levels. But Margie smiles after asking her questions about how she will go, and graciously let's go of needing to know. Moment to moment. Margie loves the opportunity to get out and still be very engaged in life.This afternoon she and Mack are going dancing to some swing jazz!  And she loves the 'distraction' of having visitors, and preparing meals for them. Although she did express some frustration at finding herself without some ingredients at times and having no way to get out shopping for them independently. But again, that smile and the versitility of finding something else to cook up or substitute with. Peter and I arrived back last evening, from a wee road trip into New Mexico, to Margie's home cooking - a lovely pot roast and chocolate cake!!  Such a treat! Margie is still pacing herself carefully, enjoying her naps throughout the day. And she still enjoys hearing others stories more than talking about herself, finding it less tiring to do so these days. Her abdominal tumor(s) are growing and causing her some pain at times, but her meds are keeping her comfy. Watch those robust hugs though! Margie's complete openness and honesty continue to help me as we all continue forward into this uncertainty. I can't help but notice how similar it is to my nursing work of being with women in labor having their babies! I've been learning a lot, witnessing Margie's journey. I'm learning to live as if I were dying! Love to you All out there in cyberspace!  :-)  xxx

Yesterday Mom headed out to Peak-to-Peak Highway with three friends from her Tulsa days to view the fall colors. The aspens are turning now and the sights were apparently quite nice. Right now she's headed off to lunch with them too!

Monday and Tuesday Margie & Mack headed back up to her Dillon Valley East condo and approved the carpet cleaning done by 4 Knights, took out a bunch of food that had been left behind and generally neaten'ed up, in preparation for selling this condo that has provided so much joy to our extended family and friends over the past ~30 years.

Margie just reported that her abdominal tumors are getting enlarged again (as I first heard about 6 or 7 days ago now) and is dialing up her pain medication a bit, but is still walking and eating normally, without much pain or nausea.

In a rejoinder to his brother David's fantastic dinner earlier this month,  Bob Sugar threw down the gantlet earlier today and producing some amazing Chocolate Waffles with all the trimmings: bacon, whipped cream, butter, several fruits, syrup, coffee, etc.  Margie, Dave, Anna, Mac & Peter all indulged in this memorable event.

It seems that breakfast with chocolate waffles are a long standing tradition in the Sugar household and this was the perfect excuse to revive the event.

Now, if we can just get Margie to open her eyes while we're taking her photo...

Not that Mom needs any entertainment, but it still is grand to know that Peter & Jill (albeit with colds) are now in Boulder spending time with Margie.

Also - today only - Alison McEachern is also in residence and getting caught up with Mom. Alison and her entire family are long, dear family friends from our days back on Streetsboro St. in Hudson, OH.

A bird mentioned mom was off with Shep & Gay today looking at the climbers clambering over the walls of Eldorado Canyon, just south of Boulder. Mom cooked 'em a dinner last night just after they arrived and obviously is on cloud nine reliving all the old stories.

I just hope she pulls out the scrapbook that none of us kids had seen until a few weeks ago: it documents all their college escapades - in WILD detail!

River & John are headed back to Vashon Island (outside Seattle) today, after a delightful month here in Boulder. Margie has made the trip out a very engaging, productive, soulful experience. I'm surprised it hasn't been more sad or emotional (though there have been moments!), but Margie's clear wishes for herself, and her contentment with her passage, has set a positive tone throughout. Her path is not one I'd chose for her, but she is content and clear about her own path - and has a bit more wisdom than I, which I just need to respect.

It has been a blessing for the whole family to be able to say our peace with Mom and cherish these last weeks with her. I'm hoping to come back by Thanksgiving, and spend more time with her then.

I'd also like to extend a huge note of appreciation for Anne, Arvadus & Grace's generous accommodation of me this past month in their charming bungalow. Abby has done much to help me out and and times with Bob, Dave & Anna, Tait & Sara, Elizabeth & Keith, Bill and Taya have been way too brief but great. Thank you all.

Fortunately Mom will not be lonely this next month!  Just back from her gig in Paonia, Abby will be around for the next month or more, Mom's dear friends Shep, Gay and Marian will be in starting tomorrow, Peter & Jill come in for a week or two this Saturday, and then sister Elisabeth is likely to come out for a spell. And of course Anne continues throughout to provide the mainstay of support and continuity for Margie. Margie just may have to kick us all out again so she can enjoy her privacy!

After some 20 years, it was finally time to clean out B106 at Dillon Valley East. Many of us have enjoyed our time there and have happy memories of big dinners, socializing or just resting after a hard day on the slopes of Summit County ski areas. Here is a macro (thus unintentionally blurry) photo of Margie & Anne waving a fond farewell to the condo - now pretty bare for a sale or possible rental.

Before a doctor's appointment today, Margie dropped off a load of goods at the local Hospice Thrift Store - and couldn't resist checking out a lamp: "just a copy though", she quickly surmised. Although still very underweight, at the doctor's appointment Margie announced she had gained about 5 pounds in the last week!

...we will all know who is our next president.  I hope you each will know JUST whom to vote for. I'm counting on you!!!!

Here I am ironing a duvee, listening to Oprah & talking to my daughter Elisabeth.

I am having a good week. Had a fabulous dinner at The Boulder Black Cat restaurant last night, thanks to 2 fine friends.  Today I enjoyed soup, great bread, cheese from other great friends. So friends, you see, I'm thriving!

Kim, River & I headed out Saturday for a weekend backpack up around Buffalo mountain above Frisco.  Just a few miles from the ugly mass of neuvo-condos is a wonderland of the rugged Gore Range. We saw a buck and fawn, heard a pack of coyotes just outside the tent (River's musk gland, something we're normally not aware of, became very evident), saw a herd of big horn sheep (or mountain goats?) in the distance, and enjoyed lots of flowers, dips in cold lakes, and wondrous views of mighty mountains.

When we returned, Anne told us that Mom was feeling so good that not only had she returned to her old habits, she wanted her independence. She kicked out her caregivers for the next several weeks!

Feeling her oats, she went on a double date with Mac & friends, and then last night headed out to a dance apparently!

So while Margie still is losing significant weight, she is currently pain free and enjoying life on her own at home and socializing with friends. While we all want to help out, there frankly is not too much we need to help Margie with - aside from some driving. Personally, I suspect Mom hated how much we all messed up the order and cleanliness of her condo!

This was great news to return to. After being here for about 9 days, Kim leaves this afternoon and I'm getting caught up on my blog updates. (Several folks have asked for more current content, so I've been able to retroactively put up some postdated blogs this morning.)

Mom's dear cousin Wib Williams, and her husband Jack swept in for a day Thursday about noon. We had a delightful visit, catching up on all of the extended family goings-on and even a bit of genealogy Friday morning before before they returned to Detroit. The highlight was a party hosted by Aunt Lib, on the occasion of Uncle Keith's birthday, with spicy puttanesca and a hearty cake for desert.

Thursday morning Kim, Anne & Grace all helped Mom pick out a couple of wigs as her hair has been coming out in grand tuffs the last 3-4 days. Grace helped settle the ties when the others were split between two wigs. She has a modest new hair piece and another with some volume and curl to it. She also got a half dozen new caps for more casual wear. Some are pretty fun! Both wigs look really nice and update Mom's appearance. Just in time for Wib & Jack's visit!

[9 Sept. update: Anne has taken the fluffy wig in for a replacement. We're all eager to see what she returns with. Grace, Felicia & I all are hoping for something spiked, in blue - or with a red stripe.]

The biggest news this week (aside from the arrival in a few days of Margie's cousin Wib & her husband Jack) has been that college friends Gay, Shep & Ricky are coming to Boulder for a visit. Margie has been telling everyone and it is the the first she tells everyone - especially that Ricky will be flying out from the east coast - weather permitting!

The Sugar's came over tonight and cooked salmon, risotto, with salad, and sorbet for dessert. As Kim had come in last night, both Anne & my families were largely here for the delightful meal - as well as Mom and Mac of course. (The only exception was dear Abby who took off today for a few weeks in Paonia.) We all enjoyed getting caught up on the latest activities and checking in with Margie who is pain free and clear headed these days, but slowly losing weight.

Since I've moved in a day ago, I find that Margie is up to her old tricks: cleaning up around the house, helping the conversation along, and generally in the full swing of things. Margie even wanted to go out shopping with me this morning - not for much in particular, but "just to see what was new and what she might need!" Unfortunately the main stop was closed for Labor Day.

I stopped in at the Trident briefly this morning, she and I did a bit of genealogy later in the morning, then she and Kim spent a bit of time talking while I ran errands this afternoon.

In other news, Keith & Lib return tonight from the Baltic. Also it sounds like Gay, Shep and Ricky may be able to make it out in a few weeks for a visit.

I'm enjoying spending these precious days and nites with Margie, especially sleeping with her. She often wakes up around 3:30am and we talk about life and travel and love and death, or just hold hands and watch the crescent moon move across the sky. Today we got up around 8am and while Peter was out for a short hike with Tait, I cooked Margie some scrambled eggs, steak (that's what she wanted!) and some toast, which she ate most of! She hasn't been experiencing any nausea or pain lately, which is a blessing. She keeps up with her medication routine, keeping wonderful detailed notes on what she takes and when. She is still very much in charge, although she did comment to me 'I'm not in control anymore'. I do get the feeling she's got one foot in this world and one in the next. She is showing me how to face death without fear ('fear stops us from being our best' she says) and how to be totally present in this moment. She said earlier this afternoon that she is still very interested in her friends and what's going on in the world, but feels she is lacking in energy to 'be entertaining'. Margie seems to have good energy for a couple hours, and then enjoys a replenishing rest. Right now, she and Peter are writing her obituary, talking about her colorful life history and interests. And then Margie will have another rest before her friend arrives to visit at 3pm. She loves to visit and talk on the phone, but does tire easily. She mentioned yesterday that she's not entirely comfortable being the center of attention - of course, she wants to hear about YOUR life, as usual. I guess some things don't change!  :-)  Love to you all, who are reading this.  Jill

Well today I'm flowing & feel good.  It means that I'm old & no longer just a kiss matters.  Kisses are still pretty special though.  My dear Wells friends are phoning me & it's wonderful to hear from them.  My favorite cousin Wib who lives in Grosse Pte Farms, MI plans to come visit me next week.  This will be a real high light  for me.  Also my sister & brother-in-law return from their Baltic Sea cruise on Monday-their adventures will be fun to hear.  So all is well-or sort of-here. Thank you for tuning me in!

Margie has been enjoying all the notes, letters, emails, visits, posts, flowers, hot dishes and calls. Thank you all for spicing up her days!

Two weekends ago she was in continual pain and discomfort with nausea & abdominal pressure from her tumors.  Early last week her round of chemo - and possibly the hospice nurse's recommendations for a change to her anti-nausea meds - has led to her having an excellent two weeks of socializing and relative lack of discomfort.

While she continues to socialize each day, Margie grows more frail, continues to lose weight, and needs her sleep. Her pain meds have slowly been increasing.

Still, despite all this, it is a true joy and honor for all of us able to spend time with Margie. She has the hospice team wrapped around her finger, and maintains her positive outlook. Being with her is very comforting and we all come away with calm and knowledge that she is on the best course possible under these circumstances. She is content, and continues to give to the rest of us even now...

A big bolus of photos were just uploaded to the Photos page this morning. Some are selected photos spanning Margie's life with different families, but there are a couple albums just taken Friday and Sunday by Anne for your enjoyment - including this one on the steps of the local Chautauqua after Sunday brunch.

Last night, instead of a planned movie, Mom upped our pleasure by bringing out three scrapbooks on her childhood and colligate days that none of us kids had ever seen. What fun! We'll eventually get them scanned in for everyone's enjoyment.

We have finished a happy birthday weekend. All the kids came in to share it with Mom. The family has had a great Sunday together. We enjoyed a good brunch at Chautauqua. Now Mom is now sitting watching the closing of the Olympics.

So much has been circulating above, below & around me * I'm rather embarrassed with all this attention.  I've LOVED all the birthday good wishes & other greetings.  So many of you have honored me, calls from far away, magnificent bouquets of elegant flowers, food credits, puddings, etc. & etc.  What a fine group of friends.  I feel so grateful.  My belly is a pit of hell, but my heart is filled with with gratitude, love & peace.  The wise Hospice team say I could last 3 months, but I'll work for a few weeks earlier.  I know Obama is going to win.

So thank you for your best wishes.

My life couldn't have been richer.

I'll write you again.

Margie

Sister Anne hosted a party in the midst of all the goings on and it was a huge success. Highlights include the presence Margie's gracious brother, Bill Hawkins (on the left; Margie's energetic boyfriend, Mack McGinty and his daughter LeeAnn McGinty;  the Sigfrieds; a bevy of other family members); and finally an endurance test of an 1116 image slide show! Mac was just in from the emergency room where he got 12 stitches to patch up his flayed open his knee, as a result of laying some new flooring in his living room. Despite the reappearance of Margie's yellow boa, it was not a high society function, but it was warm and super social.

The full hospice team game by today and met with most of our family. They reaffirmed Margie's fortune to have such support in her time of need. We of course know this just reflects the depth to which mother supported us over the years and we are just happy to have these weeks to be of at least limited service to mom.

Mom's primary physician, Internist Dr. Chris Trojanovich, was gracious enough to come over on his day off to lend his support to the meeting. Mother is blessed!

We're pleased for Mimi the social worker and Todd the Chaplain's valuable presence, and for nurse Kathleen's knowledge of ways to provide comfort for Margie. Personally I'm most excited about Felicia's skill in being able to bring massage, skin care, hygiene and aromatherapies to mom in the coming weeks!

Margie has been in great spirits and quite social this week, napping a bit more,  but eager to get the details of hospice and her memorial service resolved so these don't weigh down on her.

My sister Elisabeth showed up a few days ago, then her husband Marvin made a surprise appearance for Margie's birthday weekend. My wife Kim showed up last night, and brother Peter & Jill drive in later this morning from Hood River, Oregon.

Most significantly of all though, and easily her best present, Margie is totally delighted that her brother Bill will be able to come by this afternoon for her party at Anne & Arv's house.

I've been working on a photo show, and hope to get some of the best of these posted this weekend onto the site for everyone to enjoy - including some great ones sent in from my 2nd cousin, Ted Williams. Thanks Ted!

Margie has received dozens of emails, cards, letters, posts to the web site and calls this week, so please know that she is avidly reading them but can not respond to any but a few. We'll try to get her to post a few words here or in a bulk email so you all can get a sense of her realistic, but positive, outlook on her condition and the love she has for you all.

Somehow I was trying to create a blog for mother, so  - if she felt like dealing with the infernal computer - she could post some thoughts. Unfortunately in doing so each blog posting is showing up something like 16 times. Yikes! I'll try to resolve this over the weekend...

Allan Amis, and his hounds, stopped by for an hour en route back home to Minneapolis from his cabin above Alamosa in the NW corner of the Sangre de Christo range in southern Colorado. Good fun!

Margie's dear friend, and now one of the team of her hospice doctors, Dr. Holt stopped by today with the hospice nurse, Kathleen, who we will have the most ongoing contact with going forward. Both gave mother nearly three hours of their time and did a thorough medical history, and answered all of our questions. It was a positive experience to learn all the techniques the skilled hospice team has to ensure Margie's final days will be ones of comfort and that she has control over her situation.

Yesterday, the hospice nurse cleared up a miscommunication. After switching two anti-nausea drugs, lo-and-behold, mother's chief complaint seems to have disappeared in the night! Her appetite today is good ("water tastes like water"), she loved a great massage, and she now is relaxing with her daughter Elisabeth, a businesswoman just in from Santa Clarita.

Abigail headed out for a graduate school scholarship interview yesterday morning, while I took Mom to Breadworks on Broadway in Boulder. En route, Margie said she no longer wanted to try to extend her life. She's always been clear - as would be no surprise to anyone familiar with her pragmatic Hawkins lineage - that she hadn't wanted to fight her cancer or take heroic measures, but now she was making clear to all of us that she didn't want to do anything to extend her life - including another round of chemo.

Her nausea, abdominal pressure (from her tumors, not fluid build up as we had hoped), the disruption her cancer and treatment have caused her from her normal routine and control over her life all led to this decision. "Why go up just to delay the pain and go down again," was her comment.

At Breadworks, she met with Mack, George, John, Sydney, Arthur, and a host of other dear friends, keeping them entertained for several hours.

Afterwards, we returned to Mom's condo and met up with my sister Anne, and her daughters Abigail and Grace. The decision to call in hospice was made and us kids all had a good cry over this turn. Mom was content and even positive about her decision.

We spoke with brother Peter, sister Elisabeth, step-brothers Bob and Dave, Uncle Bill, Aunt Wib and a few others, but now want all of you to be aware of Margie's decision.

Abby asks a few questions that quickly led into a beautiful commentary on the robust, risk-taking, big personality of Margie's father, Glenn Hawkins.

In the evening we watched "Under the Tuscan Sun". Margie thought the movie a bit sappy and slow to get into the Tuscany scenery she was eager to see. Once there though, she happily rattled off all the Italian locations by sight!

Hi Friends and Family,

Here is an update regarding my Mom, Margie Sugar, as of 8-15-08. In the future go to the Web Site  msugar.com where you can go for updates regarding Margie's condition and state of affairs. My brother John is still in the process of setting it up so keep checking back on the website for updates. Hopefully, most of you received the first email I sent on 8-4-08. If not please see the attachment and feel free to forward these emails to anyone who cares about Margie. It would also help our family to have any current email addresses that we have missed.

When I wrote the last email on 8-4-08, we were expecting the biopsy test results to come back as ovarian cancer. On 8/8 Margie was given a definitive diagnosis of neuro-endocrine metastatic cancer. This is an "umbrella term" for this rare and aggressive cancer. It affects protein and hormonal cells that are found throughout the body. We won't ever know the primary site as we've decided not to chase it down with further tests. It probably started in her lungs even though a chest X-Ray in January was clean. She has masses throughout her abdominal cavity as well as in her uterus. Mom is experiencing pressure from these masses. Her abdomen is extended and the masses are pressing on her internal organs causing her discomfort.  She had another ultrasound today and it is not accumulated fluid that is causing the pressure. So, now we have to wait and see if the Chemotherapy is affective in reducing the masses. Mom is taking quite a bit of pain medication to relieve her symptoms so at times she is groggy.    

Mom started chemo treatments this week and had three rounds on Tues, Wed and Thursday.  Hopefully this treatment will kill the cancer cells and ultimately shrink the masses. There is a 30-50% chance that she will have a 50% positive or better response rate. (The studies only track a 50% positive response rate.) Margie's oncologist Dr. Moran feels she has approximately 6 months left of life but this could go either way. Mom continues to be very pragmatic and says she is ready to die. She is focused on cleaning out her refrig, her closets and her bookshelves. Sometimes this approach is hard for family members who love her and want her here on earth as long as possible. But in fact, the family is clear about her wishes and will do what ever it takes to make her comfortable and enjoy her to the fullest in her remaining days.  I think we are all feeling overwhelmed with all that is happening. It is so difficult witnessing Mom's decline. I think I speak for all of us, it is a struggle accepting her diagnosis and prognosis.

On Sunday, Abby (my 24 yr old daughter) came to stay with Margie for two weeks. This is a big help as she supports me with running to the pharmacy and spending time with mom while I am at work. My brother John arrived yesterday for a month. He will stay with us in our studio. As a family will be working together to get her affairs in order as well as plan with Margie her memorial service. Margie's other children & spouses (Peter & Jill, Lib & Marv) arrive next week).  Everyone is coming to help mom celebrate her 82nd Birthday on 8/22.

Many people have come forward with love and support. Please don't hesitate to contact Mom via email or regular mail. She is taking great pleasure in hearing from loved ones across the nation. Mom is having to pace herself especially now that the first round of chemo is making her fatigued and she is on pain medication. It would be great if everyone would send her Birthday wishes on or before 8-22-08. Margie will be 82 years old. Her address is:

Margaret Sugar
624 Pearl St. #404
Boulder Colorado 80302.

Take care and remember to check the msugar.com website for updates.

Love,

Anne Donovan
(Margie's third child)

Dear friends,

I have some sad news to share with you about my mom, Margie Sugar.  My mom is in the throws of being diagnosed, most likely with Metastatic Ovarian Cancer. The CT scan results (that were given to Mom last Monday) show tumors throughout her uterus and abdomen. She will have a CT scan guided needle biopsy tomorrow morning and the doctor has ordered a blood test called C125; a blood marker that can detect ovarian cancer. With these two test results we will meet again with the Oncologist (Pat Moran MD @ the Tebo Center) on Friday of this week or next Monday (depending on when the test results are back) to get a definitive diagnosis of either Ovarian, Pancreatic or Lymphoma disease.

Mom has had vague symptoms for about 8 months and has had full work-ups by a Cardiologist, a Gastroenterologist and her Internist. Unfortunately, despite seeking medical care (and even having had a hernia operation one month ago) her advancing symptoms of weight  loss, lack of appetite and pressure in her lower abdomen have finally lead to a cancer diagnosis.  See the article that I have attached below. Ovarian cancer is rare but a very insidious disease. There is no screening tool and only when symptoms get worse is it often detected in a advance stage.

I have made my mom my top priority and we are busy with doctors appointments and procedures. It will be better once we know the diagnosis that we are dealing with. Mom is pragmatic saying she doesn't want any heroic measures and that she isn't afraid of dying at the age of 82 yrs old. Mom acknowledges that she has had a wonderful life and that she lives without regrets.

The oncologist offered her some hope saying that 6 cycles of chemotherapy could potentially shrink the tumors and hopefully make her more comfortable as a palliative treatment (not to be considered a cure or a heroic measure). Mom will need to make a tough decision once we get a final diagnosis; either enter into Hospice and just receive palliative care for 2-6 months before death or go the chemo route that could give her 1-2 yrs. As most of you know Mom's husband George died with Hospice care in 2003. Since George's death Mom has volunteered weekly at the Hospice Thrift Store here in Boulder so she knows as best as one can what to expect with her own demise with the support of Hospice, family and friends.

I'll keep you posted via email. Live today fully!

Love, Anne 

Margaret Sugar
624 Pearl #404
Boulder, Co. 80302

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